I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
Randomize
