I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
