I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
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