i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
Randomize
