if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
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