You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
Randomize
