she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
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