Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize
