i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
Randomize
