I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
