It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
Randomize
