Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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