And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
I woke up this morning to the buzzer on my oven going off... I cooked fish sticks at 425 degrees for 5 hours last night. my house smells awesome
my room smells like sperm. sweet.
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
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