Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
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