Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
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