Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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