she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
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