it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
Randomize
