I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
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