i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
Randomize
