i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
I can't put those talents on a resume
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
