His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
Randomize
