Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
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