Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
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