My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
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