don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
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