I was so drunk I accidentally put in two tampons.
I tried to talk you out of it. You were worried about alcohol being a blood thinner.
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
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