can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
