My nipple is on Facebook.
The best revenge is premature balding
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
