Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Randomize
