Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
I should put together a new mom basket for her. It would have diapers, vodka, ambien, and tissues for when she cries about her wasted youth.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
Randomize
