i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
Randomize
