it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
Randomize
