Slut skills are useful in every country.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
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