I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
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