I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
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