If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
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