I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
