I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
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