Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
I am one with the molecules
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
