you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
Randomize
