there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
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