So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
Randomize
