i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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