just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
Randomize
