Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
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