Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
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