I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
