Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
I fill condoms, not promises.
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
I am naked and annoyed.
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
Randomize
