Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
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