she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize
