32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
Randomize
