he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
